Things I Know: #5 Real Men Cry
I was lounging on the sofa in Starbucks the other day reading the bible. My legs rested easily on a chair set out in front of me and I my face was buried deep inside of the pages. Lisa sat next to me correcting quizzes from the week before, it was a lazy Saturday morning.
Im trying to stay on track with my daily bible reading plan and I was fishing up Deuteronomy and Matthew. As I read about the end of Moses life I sank deeper into the chair. I was astounded by the way that God redeemed Moses and was with him personally with he passed away. I was sad that Moses had died, not because he was dead, but because I felt a connection to him. Someone who was still just figuring out what it was to follow God, even though he had been doing it for many years. Moses had so much potential to continue serving the Lord, even amidst his fumbles. I also long for the day when I can meet with my God, face to face, have him tell me that I am redeemed, and welcome me home.
After that I continued reading the end of Matthew. My face was shaken and Lisa reached over to see if I was okay. I responded that I was, a buried my face deeper into the book. The depiction of the crucifixion in Matthew but before I knew it silent tear were running down my face. At first I was tempted to stop reading but I was overcome by a joy that removed my public shame. I have cried about the crucifixion before, seeing that happen to anyone is horrifying. However, this time I was not crying because of the physical abuse, I was crying because I know that man. I know Jesus Christ, and while it broke my heart that my sin put him there, I was overcome with joy because I knew that my reaction to that passage was only possible by his love. That reaction was only possible because I know him and have a relationship with him. That is all that I want, its the only thing in the world that is of any consequence. It is what I live and strive for. . . and I can see and feel his presence in my life! It amazing.
